- Flanders: Well, I've seen about enough.
Homer: So, Flanders, what do you think of the house that love built? [the Flanders' rebuilt house collapses] Aw, shoot...
- Flanders: [after cleaning his glasses, but the lenses fall out and puts his glasses back on as he tries to calm himself down, understanding that the townspeople has done their best] Now, calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily. They did their best shoddilyddily iddily iddily diddily diddily. Gotta be nice, hostilitydidildilidilly... [unable to control his emotions and instead, starts to snap] AW, HELL-DIDDLY-DING-DONG-CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN'T YOU MORONS DO ANYTHING RIGHT??!?!?!?!?!
- Marge: Ned! We meant well, and everyone here tried their best.
- Flanders: Well, my family and I can't live in good intentions, Marge! Oh, your family's out of control, but we can't blame you, because you have gooood intentions!
- Bart: Hey! Back off, man!
- Flanders: Ooh, okay, duuuuuuude, I wouldn't want you to have a cow, maaaaaaan! Here's a catchphrase you'd better learn for your adult years: "Hey, buddy, GOT A QUARTER?!"
- Bart: I am shocked and appalled.
- Lisa: Mr. Flanders, with all due respect, Bart didn't do anything.
- Flanders: Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's got to be little Lisa Simpson, Springfield's answer to a a QUESTION NO ONE ASKED!
- Chief Wiggum: wah-hah
- Flanders:What do we have here? The long flabby arm of the law? The last case you got the bottom of WAS A CASE OF MALLOWMARS!
- Krusty: Mallomars, oh, haha. That's going in the act.
- Flanders: Oh yeah, the clown. The only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh!. - And as for YOU, I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a jerk!
- Lenny: Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?
- Flanders: You ugly, hate-filled man!
- Moe: Hey, hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um, what was the third thing you said?
Flanders: Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met.
- Homer: Hey, I got off pretty easy.